Why our outdated models — and our fear of “medicalizing normal life” — keep adults with ADHD invisible
[Continuing series ADHD Awareness Month]
We like to imagine that ADHD is something kids eventually outgrow, like braces or bedtime.
But for many adults, the story is the opposite: what we outgrow is permission to struggle.
The hyperactivity fades, the report cards stop, and the world assumes the problem is gone, when in truth, it’s only gone quiet.
Outdated Models, Outdated Thinking
The belief that ADHD “belongs” to childhood isn’t scientific; it’s historical.
Early diagnostic models (circa DSM III) focused on observable classroom behaviors - the restless child, the talker, the dreamer. When those children became adults, the framework didn’t evolve with them. Hyperactivity simply went inward: a racing mind instead of fidgeting hands, mental clutter instead of classroom disruption.
The early manuals were written for teachers and parents, not for adults trying to hold down a job or manage a household. And so, for decades, millions slipped through the cracks - functional on the surface, but broken underneath.
The Backlash Against Medicalization
In recent years, a new resistance has taken hold — the argument that ADHD is a “medicalization of modern life.”
That we’re simply too online, too distracted, too overstimulated.
While it may seem an understandable concern - our environments are increasingly attention-hostile. But suggesting ADHD is simply a general distraction is the same as equating depression with sadness - it misses the point. ADHD isn’t about the presence of distraction; it’s about the absence of regulation. It’s not a failure to focus, but a struggle to control focus.
By flattening neurodiversity into just “normal variation,” the backlash risks silencing the very people it claims to protect.
It replaces empathy with skepticism and turns struggle into a moral question: “If everyone’s distracted, why can’t you just cope?”
A More Mature Understanding
The tension between over-diagnosis and under-recognition can only be resolved by embracing complexity.
Yes, modern life stretches everyone’s attention — but it didn’t create ADHD.
My own late diagnosis has shown that the real challenges of undiagnosed ADHD aren’t new.
Contextually, I was a kid growing up in South Africa in the 70s and 80s, our biggest distractions a television service that had a mere 3 channels, the greatest distractions were stories interrupted by adverts. But certainly no non-stop streaming choices - and definitely long before smartphones or social media.
Yet I was already struggling to sustain focus, to finish what I had started, or to study only when panic arrived; distraction and delay were already constant companions.
Those experiences taught me something the cultural narrative often forgets: ADHD isn’t a response to modern chaos; it’s a neurodevelopmental pattern that modern life simply magnifies.
We don’t outgrow ADHD - we just grow more sophisticated ways to hide it.
Closing Reflection
The question isn’t whether ADHD is “real.”
It’s why we’re still so invested in believing it isn’t.
Every time we dismiss adult ADHD as a trend or a label for laziness, we reaffirm an old misunderstanding dressed in new language.
The science has evolved — perhaps it’s time our compassion did too.
Maybe it’s time we share our own stories of lived experiences that did not rely on the uninformed tropes that seem to persist. Our experiences were real, they ARE real, we do not need to live in the shadows.
